There are many untold stories about Accra. But it seems people will rather keep the best experiences to themselves but I was brought up with the adage “sharing is caring”, so even though no one asked me, I am going to share all the juicy tit-bits about Accra with you. T for medase bebre.
#1. Not everyone speaks English over here
If you thought everyone spoke English in Accra, you’d be wrong. In as much as Ga should have been the most popular language around because it’s a Ga land, the Akan language beats her to it.
So, there are a number of places where you probably wouldn’t need to express yourself in the language of the Queen. Find a translator or an interpreter, up your pidgin game and you’re good to go.
#2. Look both ways before crossing a one-way street
This might sound hilarious but you can’t go about doing things the way you want to in Accra. When in Rome, you do as Romans do. The same applies to Accra.
Don’t heed this advice and before long moto riders a.k.a ‘okadas’, who we usually compete with over space on pedestrian walks, will knock you down falaa.
#3. Never get comfortable when the light stays on for too long
Well, says the law. If you ever have ‘light’ for 5 consecutive days, you should at some point anticipate a power outage. This is simply a pure manifestation of ‘good things never last’.
Be prepared. Do these things: Always keep a power bank close. Iron your clothes. Blend veggies ahead. Keep your devices charged up or learn how to locate the nearby spot where you could go perch for power.
#4. I am on my way
You know whenever you are waiting on someone and they cook this formula: “I am on my way”… what it really means is the following: “I am in the shower, getting ready, would join a bus soon, pretend there’s traffic jam and you will have to wait because I will eventually meet you 45 minutes later tops”.
Finally, after you give them a call for the umpteenth time, you’d hear something like “Relax, I am almost there, what shirt are you wearing”. And those words will ultimately remain the only magic spell to cool you down. If you bore, you bore for your pockets inside.
#5. It’s hot throughout the year but when it rains, we need that heat back
The city of Accra is filled with filth. I am surprised an old schoolmate of mine mentioned that she was impressed by the level of cleanliness in Accra. Maybe civilization ended right where I live.
Accra gets dirty and some popular places in town stink. Gutters are filled with rubbers, sachet water and other non-degradable materials. Guess the role each of these play in choking the gutters they bed in? A major one.
So rain equals foreseeable floods. We prefer the dusty stormy season because we can safely carry on littering without causing any havoc.
#6. The one pesewa is John Cena
The one pesewa remains legal tender but you would never come into contact with it, oh except at the mall. Its value is so “insignificant” that only charities would rather have it.
Using my not so powerful mathematical skills, I managed to convert the one pesewa into US Dollars. And rumble…I got 0.0019 USD. All that effort just to help you put into perspective how much the one pesewa is actually worth.
#7. The longer the queue…
… perhaps, the tastier the meal is. A food joint with a lengthy queue in Accra is similar to a popular item on Amazon with the highest reviews.
However, our taste buds differ so be careful when falling for social proof. Some food joints are still in operation only because their clientele can’t afford going through the hurdles of trying something different.
The devil you know ‘dot, dot, dot’ is a well embraced adage. Let someone else introduce a better product and you will see who gets to cry foul.
#8. Everybody seems to be into MLM
MLM stands for Multi-level Marketing. The only visual representation of it to me is a pyramid. All MLM schemes sound Ponzi to me. My bad.
In the quest of wanting to become their own bosses, many slaves, oops people fall for the passive income, extra income, extra money, side hustle tags.
How do you know if someone is into MLM? Just hold on patiently, be it relatives or strangers, they will effing tell you in time.
#9. Celebration is an all year round distin
You’ll be shocked to observe everyone’s lips singing “there is no money in the system”.
Meanwhile on the next funeral announcement, family members and friends will bring out all their pillow life savings and treasures dug out right below your sorrows. Hence, there’s always extra money to fix a problem but it’s never ‘enough’ to be pumped into your dream business. You’re also to blame, you’re just a shameless beggar. The dead don’t beg.
The entire week is packed with celebrations and all those who have decided to use the weekdays for wedding ceremonies in a bid to curtail the usual unnecessary crowd, we see you all, you’re not any wiser.
#10. Church on Sunday
When all is said and done,
When bars, drinking spots,
Strip clubs close curtains for
Early church service the next day,
The patrons and everyone else
Usher their judgmental selves to church.
Each Sunday service temporarily factory resets to immaculate the envious, the greedy, the hypocrite, the drunkard, the assholes, the cheaters, the corrupt, the rapist, the beggar, the brostitute and any other type of vices inbred person you are likely to find back and pumped up at post on working days.
That’s about it. The beauty and the chaos. I hope you have enjoyed this article. Please let me know in the comments section, what other fun facts I may have left out and you believe are a significant enough to highlight, so we can do a part II to this. Cheers y’all.