Call it rejection, a turn down, a cold shoulder, a slap in the face maybe and you would be saying the same thing.
As bad as it may seem, rejection is not that bad really. Everyone at some point in time has experienced what felt like a rejection. Be it from parents, partners, peers or society at large.
Rejection is totally cool, trust me?
At first, rejection was never a thing that I would term as cool. However, it is one of the best thing that has ever happened to me. As such, I would like to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to all those who have succeeded in rejecting me.
You guys are the real deal!
As human beings, we usually feel the urge to belong. We do everything we can to be in a circle where we are usually never welcomed.
More than often we hang around people we like and adore whether they feel the same towards us or not. That’s wrong vibes!
You need to know when to leave a table where you’re not appreciated. Stop torturing yourself. Learn how to eat alone.
The people who reject us don’t owe us a thing
Have you ever stopped to think and ask yourself if you would find it cool carrying a load you never wanted to have in the first place?
So why do you want to be that load for someone else? And why do you also have to carry someone else’s load if it compromises your mental health?
Why do we keep forcing ourselves onto people who do not like us?
It is simple. As humans, we feel we need some validation. We want validation. We crave for it badly. It does not matter whom we are getting it from for as long as they give us what we crave for. And so we think they could “help” us.
It is really just that.
What sort of validation, really?
Validation is poisoning. If you ever need permission to do stuff, think again… You are the only person to give yourself permission to do the things you wish to do. If you fail, well that serves you right, right?
You should be the one in charge. Be the one holding the pen when writing the pages of your story. You might suck at it, fair enough!
Read also: X Things I Would Tell My Younger Self…?
You probably be asking so why does this guy think rejection is not such a bad thing?
The thing is once it settles in, it gives you the opportunity to think for you and you only. Chances you will always do better when you are pushed to the curb. That is when you start learning valuable lessons.
“Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountain tops never will.” Sreejani Mukherjee
See why rejection is actually wonderful?
Ultimately, you get to appreciate being in your own company and not end up as an embarrassing load to other people. You begin to be more independent and less likely to ask how high the moment someone asks you to jump.
Expecting people to be the ones to lead first, is an indication of how weak you are. There are various instances where we suffer rejection not because we think it has something to do with us, but because I think this has everything to do with us. You were probably not expecting that.
Still fear taking that walk alone? Do you think Georges Washington was high when he shared these words “It is better to walk alone than in bad company”? Don’t be bad company to yourself.
Allow me to share with you my personal experience when I started blogging.
I felt I needed the push from the “gurus” who were already at it. I was looking at them to coach me or give me the necessary motivation. Clearly, they had better things to do. And I felt rejected.
Was I not good enough?
I keep saying I did some ghostwriting for other bloggers, so why am not able to replicate that here for myself?
This thought among others kept running through me but I failed to do that one thing which was “blogging”, “finding blog ideas” and developing them.
Read also: 50 personal blog post ideas for your blog!
So if I failed doing the blogging that I was expecting of myself. Why should anyone then take me seriously?
Today I have burned that bridge. I am writing and expressing myself too the best way I can. And as a result you are probably reading this, which is awesome by the way.
Okay, this is not the part where I get all teary-eyed. I do not care if sharing these words with you is the only thing I have to offer. This wouldn’t have happened if I wanted to dwell on the fact that I was being shown that figurative red card. No!
But don’t get me wrong.
You can pick your mentors. You can have people you look up to and follow in their shadow when trying to find yourself.
My problem is you wanting them to hold you by the hand. Like they doing the work for you when you are not putting in the effort…
Keep at it and I promise it won’t be long before you start feeling the rejection. And there goes the charity case that no one likes to have around.
Too scared to try things on your own? You fear failure. You want people to hold you to show you how to do just right. Looks like you might just be in luck because you are going to face rejection a whole lot.
Hopefully, let that rejection be that push for you to build yourself up. So, you now see why I feel grateful?
Before we part ways, here’s something I would want you to remember:
“Rejection does not kill. It is your wakeup call.”
You know what you want so fight for it, all alone if that’s what it takes.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, let me know in the comments if you’ve ever faced any form of rejections and how did you manage to overcome that rejection?