Stop Doing The Following On Facebook

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You’re heavy FB user, aren’t you? There are deadly sins you probably shouldn’t be committing on Facebook. Have you heard about them?

According to the holy book by preacher man Marc Suya-berg verse something, there is a special place in hell for those who do the following on his platform.

Like instead of a heart react

Number one in this listicle because… Let’s say I told you a joke, would you laugh or frown? If you loved a post would you share or keep it to yourself?

There are funny posts and some other posts you just vibe with. Please, please, please, learn how to react accordingly. Long press the like button and you’ll see the reactions magically appear for you to select the proper one that corresponds to the post. It’s a little exercise but worth the experience.

Whoever the cap fits, could you to dedicate time to practice this and desist from your evil ways? Thank you.

The dots and f in the comment’s section

Have you ever come across a thread with a thousand of useful comments?

This doesn’t happen often unless you’re on Brandon’s Human of New York page. Since, you don’t want to miss out on anything, you think you would receive timely notifications on the post by:

  • leaving a full stop, ‘.’
  • writing the letter “f” for “following”
  • or by inserting “Following” in full,

Yes, you will. However, what you did was adding a useless comment under the already useful comments that caught your attention in the first place.

Don’t be the bad nut and do this instead:

  1. Stay on the post and scroll right back up.
  2. See those three dots at the right hand side of the post
  3. Tap these and select ‘turn on notifications for post’.

Sancta simplicitas!

Tagging people in unrelated posts

Yes Jennifer, I know it’s your birthday. But I chose to ignore it. Please, don’t tag me. Respect my decision. I will eventually see your post and probably wish you a happy birthday after a change of heart because I am still mad at you. Also, I could congratulate you on finally acquiring a new sexy dress, it’s been a long time coming Jezebel.

Regularly tagging in unrelated posts the rest of us and 108 others if it’s not an emergency is SPAMMY!

Writing in all caps

My favorite. This falls under bad netiquette. Netiquette stands for the correct way of using the internet. Writing in all caps is synonymous to screaming or shouting.

We all have that little voice in our head that reads so when writing in all caps, you would have netiquette conscious users thinking you’re screaming/shouting.

‘I LOVE YOU, from the bottom of my heart’. See that? Everyone should at least become acquainted with the rules before breaking them.

Are you offended yet?

Have you come across anything hurtful today? Don’t laugh, don’t react, scroll on, easy fix, Catherine!

You don’t like it? Unfollow Bernard!

Look at the bright side, laugh and move on UNLESS someone is threatening your life! You screenshot the b!tch and report it to the police.

Flag down the post, go to every length and breadth for justice. Fight for your safety because yes you will die someday, but don’t allow a foolish death to prematurely sweep you away baby.

Memes

Last but not the least it’s the memes. Can we just stop that already? Just kidding.

It’s a revolution out there.

“The best time to have started a meme page is today, the next best time to start that page is definitely today”

Oh that quote is from a meme Lord. By the way, my lordship is always ‘offended’ by people I know who mispronounce the word. For the record, it’s meme as in meem not meh-meh. The latter is the bleat that goats make.

You can do better. In fact, be creative and flood the web with the best memes you have. Do not be a bore by reposting what, unfashionable memes?

Thanks for dropping by today, if you enjoyed this one, please run and tell your neighbor about it. Much love y’all.

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